Don't Sleep With Underage Girls

And if you really can't resist, please don't video tape it.

We've been holding off on commenting on the R Kelly trial because damn-it we love dude's music, but today's piece in Slate is way too much to handle. Apparently they showed the entire 27-minute sex tape to the courtroom, and you get a sense for where Slate is taking this one pretty early on when they express their hope that the courtroom sketch artist "remembered to pack a urine-colored pencil." And that was just the first paragraph. Among the other highlights (if you can call them that) of the Slate piece are the star of the video's "prolonged urination on the girl's face and breasts, which stops and starts, and stops and starts, for what seems like minutes on end" and insistence that the female lead refer to him as "daddy". We're not saying we don't like to get a little freaky now and then, and we're not even saying that we're above video taping it, but please, please tell us this isn't the man who brought us "Ignition". We just don't know if we can take it.